My Best Intentions Keep Making a Mess of Things
by Terrischuster
Summary: The New Directions have made it to nationals in New York, Quinn comes to terms with her feelings for Rachel with the help of Santana and Brittany. Pairngs: Faberry, Brittana, Faberittana Friendship. Rating to change later on. ;
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay, so this takes place during the New York episode and goes from there! I'm not sure what I'm going to include from Season 3 so let's just say beware of general spoilers from the show thus far. Reviews would be lovely! Enjoy!**

"I just want somebody to love me…" Quinn sobbed.

"I think I know what will make you feel better," Santana said.

She and Brittany sat on their hotel bed with Quinn in the middle offering their friend support.

"I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that." Quinn whispered.

Santana rolled her eyes.

"No, that's not what I was going with," she sneered, "wait…you're not _that _into that?"

Santana smirked and laughed to herself. She loved to get under Quinn's skin. Brittany, however, eagerly waited for Quinn's response. The room was silent. Santana eyed Brittany as if to telepathically ask her what their next move should be.

"Q…?" Brittany trailed off at the sensitivity of the topic.

Quinn merely shrugged her shoulders and stared at the floor.

"Quinn!" Santana gasped, "Who's the lucky lady?"

Brittany squealed in excitement.

"I…there isn't anyone. Just someone I may or may not have feelings for."

"May or may not?" Santana crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow.

"Look, I don't even know if I like girls," Quinn said coldly.

Brittany leaned in for a hug and Santana put her hand on Quinn's shoulder.

"I'm scared," she choked.

Santana's face softened. She knew all too well the anguish of sexuality and coming to terms with it. She still struggled with it. Her sexuality was a huge part of her yet she failed to recognize, or rather, chose to ignore it. The past year alone was hell for her. It was an ongoing problem. The only thing keeping her together (loosely, at that) was Brittany. That hadn't been easy at first, either. Santana had sat back and watched the love of her life be with someone else.

Things were different now though. They were getting better. Santana was starting to piece herself together again. She still wasn't ready to come out but she was taking baby steps to get there. One of those steps included asking Brittany to be her girlfriend. Brittany, of course, had said yes. That was only a few weeks ago. They were still a secret but being able to call Brittany hers gave her a small spark of courage. She would be out soon for Brittany's sake but also for herself. Soon.

Santana found herself rubbing Quinn's back to ease her sobs. She honestly didn't know how to handle this situation. Of all people in Glee, she never expected Quinn to play for her team. She debated telling Quinn about her and Brittany to let her know she wasn't alone but before she could even formulate a plan Brittany started to speak.

"Let's test to see if you like girls," She chirped.

Brittany gazed over at Santana with a pleading look in her eyes. Santana knew exactly what Britt was asking. She took a deep breath and nodded her head. Brittany giggled with excitement and bounded over to Santana.

"Step one," Brittany directed towards Quinn, "do you get turned on by girl on girl action?"

Quinn uncomfortably shifted in her position on the bed and blushed. "I don't know."

"Okay, well you're about to find out," Brittany winked.

Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her to the other bed in the hotel room (as a courtesy to Quinn). Santana collapsed into Brittany's lap and locked their lips together. They moaned into each other's mouths almost instantly to the contact. They hadn't been alone since they left Lima and has gone way too long without touching. Their tongues twisted together and their breathing stifled. Santana's hands tangled into Brittany's hair. She whimpered when Britt bit her bottom lip and pulled her even closer. Brittany couldn't get enough of Santana's cherry lip gloss. She ran her hands delicately up Santana's legs and into the familiar path of her inner thighs. Things got heated quickly. They always did when they were together.

Quinn gave them an awkward cough to remind them she was still in the room. They snapped back to reality as they broke apart. Santana already missed her girlfriend's touch and snuggled into her side to catch her breath. Brittany mumbled an apology to Quinn and wrapped her arms around Santana who was curled up next to her.

Quinn just stared at them. She always had the notion that her two best friends had experimented before but after today she realized there was much more between them. Still, she didn't know the extent of their relationship.

"Well?" Brittany questioned.

"That was hot," Quinn managed to stammer.

"I know," Santana smirked.

"Step two," Brittany chimed in," is to actually _kiss _a girl."

Quinn and Santana stared at her blankly.

"Er…who exactly am I going to kiss?

It was Santana's turn to shift uncomfortably. She knew where this conversation was headed and didn't like it one bit.

"Us, of course!" Brittany squealed.

Santana cringed, "Britt Britt, I don't think this is such a good idea."

Brittany pouted. "Please? Do this for Quinn!"

Santana opened her mouth to protest but Brittany took her hand, "Do it for me?"

It was settled. Santana rolled her eyes but nodded. Try as she might, she could never say no to Brittany. Santana figured it was a side effect of love. Brittany clapped her hands and kissed Santana chastely on the lips. She stood up and migrated back to Quinn's bed. Brittany instinctively lowered her voice.

"Are you ready?"

Quinn bit her lip and gave Britt a slight nod.

She was no longer crying. In a way, she was grateful for her little breakdown because it prompted this heart to heart with her two best friends. They were once known as the Unholy Trinity but had drifted since their sophomore year. A lot had happened in high school. So many things had changed. If anything, she needs a friend right now and was thankful to have her two old best friends here with her. She and Santana had always been frenemies but right now she was witnessing a softer side of Santana that was significantly different from the persona everyone else knew her by. Brittany was the same old Brittany- bubbly, optimistic, and completely open to everything.

Brittany placed her hand on the back of Quinn's neck and gently pulled her close. Quinn could feel that Brittany was trying to make this as comfortable as possible for her. Her best friend's intimate touch caused her stomach to cartwheel as a result of her nerves. She didn't know why she was so nervous- a kiss was a kiss.

Their lips met with a series of tame kisses. Quinn kept her breath even.

Brittany rolled her tongue over Quinn's bottom lip as if to encourage her to open her mouth. She did so and granted Britt access. Brittany's tongue slipped between Quinn's parted lips and allowed her tongue to roam. Quinn unexpectedly moaned into her mouth. Brittany smiled at this and took it as a hint to keep going. She explored Quinn with her tongue, occasionally teasing, to find what Quinn liked and responded to. Soon Quinn relaxed into Brittany's touch.

Santana remained silent throughout this exchange with a poker face plastered onto her face. She knew this was all in good fun. She knew they were just helping Quinn in her journey of self- discovery. She also knew that she was in love with Brittany and hated seeing her with anyone else, no matter what the context of the situation was.

When they finally pulled apart, Brittany licked her lips. They tasted like Quinn's vanilla chapstick with a hint of Santana's gloss still lingering. She hugged Quinn and skipped back over to Santana.

"Wow," Quinn gasped. She didn't really know what else to say at the moment. She closed her eyes and tried to come to her senses.

Santana didn't look at all pleased.

"Kissing Quinn was fun!"

A severe look of hurt crossed over Santana's face replacing the hostile glare it previously held. A pang of jealousy hit her gut. Brittany immediately recognized the change in Santana and took both of her hands gently in hers.

"Kissing Quinn was fun," she repeated, "but kissing you is like nothing else in the world."

Santana blushed and gazed at Brittany. How was she so lucky to have this girl to call hers?

Brittany couldn't help but smile. Santana liked to play hard but really she was the most emotional, passionate person that Brittany knew. She thought it was the cutest thing about Santana.

"You know I love you, right?"

Santana pulled Brittany into a tight hug. "Mmmm" she hummed in Brittany's ear, "Not as much as I love you."

Quinn watched their little exchange in envy and awe. Her heart was still racing from the sheer thrill of kissing a girl. It had been weird at first since Brittany was her friend (not to mention the fact that her girlfriend was in the room staring daggers the entire time). Yet she lost herself in the kiss and was pleasantly surprised. The experience was certainly enlightening- it was a solid confirmation that she did in fact feel an attraction towards girls. Kissing Britt was nice, she decided, however, didn't feel the need to kiss her again. There was only one girl she had eyes for. Also, she wasn't sure she could handle another death stare from Santana. She valued her life too much for that.

"What's the verdict?" A much happier Santana asked.

Quinn wasn't sure how to respond. She was careful with how she chose her words, treading lightly so Santana wouldn't think she had the hots for Brittany.

"That was helpful, thank you-both of you."

"So you…?" Brittany coaxed.

"I definitely like girls," Quinn clarified.

Brittany gleefully clapped her hands and nudged Santana.

"We should totally double date!"

Santana groaned at the thought but smiled at Brittany anyway. Whatever Brittany wanted, she got.

"Speaking of which, you never did tell us who you were crushing on," Santana pressed.

Quinn bit her lip. She knew she wasn't going to get a very pleasant reaction when she revealed her name.

"Rachel," she sighed.

There was a long moment of silence. Quinn thought it best to keep quiet while the other two let it sink in.

"BERRY!" Santana shrieked.

Quinn recoiled and looked and the floor again while giving a slight nod of affirmation.

Santana stood up and paced around the room while the idea of Quinn crushing on Rachel Berry mulled over in her head.

"I think that's great!" Brittany beamed.

Quinn managed a small smile in thanks but was still silent in fear of Santana's potential wrath. Finally, Santana spoke again.

"How could I have never seen it before?" she asked herself. "The signs have been there from day one! No wonder you've always been so obsessed with her!"

Quinn blushed, knowing it was the truth. Though she only recently realized the extent of her feelings for Rachel, she had always exhibited the actions of a school yard crush- constant teasing and attention directed at the one she was crushing on. It wasn't until Finn broke up with her after the funeral that she came to the realization of her feelings for Rachel. The experience had been so overwhelming. Naturally, she tried to ignore it. Yet, the idea had been born in her head and continued to grow and develop her affections for the girl. New York hadn't help stifle these feelings but rather caused them to escalate.

Brittany was still grinning. She loved playing matchmaker. Santana was still in shock but she wasn't angry or even judgmental towards this new knowledge. Quinn hadn't anticipated that.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Santana asked.

"I think I need to tell her."

"After you get a cute new hair cut," Brittany added.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you everyone for reading this so far! And thank you for the reviews! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I'm still trying to get a feel for writing, Thanks for sticking with me! Enjoy! **

Rachel Barbara Berry didn't believe in fairytales. There was no use. Instead, she believed in goals and hard work. The only way to achieve true love, she reasoned, was to suffer and work for it. The same goes for accomplishing your dreams. In the end, Rachel believed she could have the best of both worlds- as long as she gave it her all. Rachel maintained this mentality since she was eight years old. Of course, her goals had been revised over time as she grew older but she always maintained the same frame of mind. She was going to be a Broadway star, she was going to live a lavish life in New York City, she was going to meet Barbara Streisand, and she was going to get married to a successful man- preferably one invested in the arts. She didn't believe in fairytales, but she had faith in true love.

Rachel failed to realize that true love isn't supposed to hurt and, more importantly, isn't one sided. Her relationship with Finn Hudson had been just that. He only chased her when he couldn't have her. The boy had broken her heart too many times to count. Whenever they were together she was always the heart, soul, and glue to the relationship. Whenever he would screw things up she would take the blame. She even wrote the song she performed at Regionals "Get it Right" about him. She gave her everything to him. Somehow her everything was never enough.

Yet, here they were again, on a date. Only this time, they were in New York. That had to be a sign, right? Maybe they were meant to be together after all. Earlier she confided in Kurt who told her she might as well bring him along with her while she pursued her dreams in New York. She supposed she could do that- she'd practically been taking care of him since sophomore year anyways. The plan seemed reasonable enough and if she put her all into their relationship they may have a chance this time.

A nagging feeling in her gut told her getting back with Finn was a bad idea. Part of her knew she wouldn't be able to handle much more heartbreak. Another part of her was telling her not to settle. The part of her logic that triumphed over everything else, however, was the scary feeling of being alone. Rachel had few friends and was a favorite target for bullying. Even some of her team members took delight in making her life a living hell- namely Quinn Fabray. Being with Finn offered her security against the harassment, for the most part at least.

She might just give in to him.

At the end of their date Finn tried to kiss her but after much thought she declined. She knew she was going to go back to him but for tonight, she wanted to pretend she had the strength to stay away.

She got back to the hotel room to find all the girls lounging around discussing their New York adventures for the day. She slumped on one of the beds next to Kurt (who was considered one of the girls) and put her head on his shoulder.

Kurt cocked an eyebrow, "Sooo how was your date with Finn? We want details!"

Tina, Mercedes, and Brittany eagerly nodded their heads. Lauren looked ambivalent, Santana sat at the window filing her nails, and Quinn was looking right at her.

"It was nice, he tried to kiss me though."

At this point, Quinn's body tensed up. She didn't know what she had expected Rachel to say but she definitely didn't like what she was hearing.

The girls in the room squealed, Kurt being the loudest of them.

"Did you?"

"No," Rachel hesitated, "I just wasn't feeling it tonight."

Rachel glanced at all the disappointed looks around the room and was surprised to see Santana smirking at her. She also could have sworn she saw Quinn crack a smile.

"I just don't know what I want right now. Things will work themselves out, I'm sure of it," Rachel explained though she didn't sound too convinced of herself.

"Oh, honey! I'm sure they will." Kurt pulled her into a hug.

Quinn tuned out the chatter following that conversation. If she was going to tell Rachel how she felt, it had to be soon. She didn't want to get cold feet and she had to get to her before Finn did. Rachel had never shown any indication of liking girls but the chemistry between her and Quinn was undeniable. Quinn had to take a chance on Rachel. It was her turn to get it right.

Santana stood up from her spot at the window and casually looped Brittany's pinky in her own before walking to the door. Quinn took the hint and followed them. Santana locked eyes with her as further encouragement to make a move.

Quinn took a deep breath. "Hey, Rachel?"

Rachel jumped at the sound of Quinn's voice. Quinn didn't make contact with her unless it involved an insult, a threat, or a favor. Right now she wasn't in the mood to deal with any of those.

"Yes?"

"Um, Santana and I wrote a song and I was wondering if you'd…help us look over it?"

A wide grin spread over Rachel's face. Like Tinkerbell, Rachel thrived on applause and attention. Quinn Fabray asking for her input in songwriting was enough to make her day.

"Absolutely!"

She jumped up from her place beside Kurt and followed the unholy trinity to their room.

"I hope you like it," Quinn turned to face Rachel, "It's called _Light Up The World _and it's about stepping out of your comfort zone to tell someone how you feel about them." Quinn bit her lip. She wasn't sure how far she was willing to take this. She handed Rachel the lyrics that she and Santana had pieced together earlier that afternoon. It was Santana's song to Britt and Quinn's song to Rachel.

_Hey, hey, hey you and me _

_Keep on dancing in the dark_

_It's been tearing me apart_

_Never knowing what we are_

_Hey, hey, hey you and me _

_Keep on tryin' to play it cool_

_Now it's time to make a move_

_And that's what I'm gonna do_

Rachel quietly read the lyrics and appeared to be in deep thought as she analyzed the song. Quinn bit her lip nervously and glanced at Santana every few seconds for encouragement.

"I must say, this is utterly delightful! If I'm going to be honest here, I didn't know you and Santana had it in you! You both are naturals!"

Santana just about launched herself at Rachel before Brittany wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close. She wagged her finger at her in disapproval. Santana rolled her eyes and sat back down, grateful for having Brittany there to keep her under control. They needed the hobbit's voice if they were going to win nationals. Oh, and for Q's sake, though that was an afterthought in her mind.

Quinn smiled shyly. She anticipated more edits and judgments to come from Rachel.

"Thank you."

"Certainly! Of course, we'll have to take it to a group vote but I believe this is a strong contender to use for competition. As your captain and superior in the arts, I'd like to thank you for including me," Rachel paused, "I know I'm not exactly your favorite person in Glee club but I appreciate your gesture. It means a lot to me."

It was now or never. Santana recognized the urgency of the situation.

"I'm…going to take a bubble bath. Britts, care to join?"

Brittany knew they were migrating to the bathroom to give Quinn and Rachel privacy for the conversation that was about to take place but to Brittany, bubble baths were also a code for sexy times and sweet lady kisses. Brittany winked at her girl and they were in the bathroom with the door locked and fan on seconds later.

Rachel and Quinn hardly noticed their friend's hasty exit. Their eyes were fixated on each other. Rachel curiously waited for Quinn's response to her previous statement. Quinn, on the other hand, was busy trying to make sense of the emotional chaos wracking her brain.

"Rach," Quinn started, not even realizing she used her nickname, "I want to apologize for…everything."

Quinn's face softened. Her heart was racing and she couldn't sit still. She wanted to show Rachel that she was sincere in her apology but she didn't know how. So she waited.

Rachel eyed Quinn suspiciously at first. When she saw Quinn's eased demeanor and the vulnerable look in her eyes, she understood this was a genuine apology.

"Thank you, Quinn," she hesitated, "May I ask where this sudden apology is coming from?"

Quinn took a deep breath and exhaled. She slowly reached her hand over to Rachel's and held it.

"It's only fair you ask."

Rachel nodded, allowing Quinn to continue.

"I'm not proud of the way I've treated you. I'm disgusted with myself, actually. I have my reasons for behaving the way I do around you. It's not logical by any means, but then again, when you lo- _like_ someone, is it ever logical?" She stopped herself from saying that dreaded four letter word. She wasn't sure where it came from but all of a sudden Quinn felt a whole new level of fear. She closed her eyes while her words sunk in.

Rachel stared at Quinn with complete and utter confusion.

"Is this a joke? Because if it is, I'm going to be really upset with you Quinn Fabray! I don't appreciate being used as a pawn of humiliation for your own sick games."

Quinn was taken aback. She should have anticipated this sort of reaction. She had been awful to Rachel in the past. It was understandable that Rachel should question her motives but it still hurt. She felt her eyes tingle and tried to blink back the tears, she had cried enough today. Her efforts were futile and the tears came anyway.

"Rachel…" she whispered.

Rachel watched Quinn break in front of her. She couldn't help but feel sympathy for the poor girl. Quinn was far more fragile than Rachel. She pulled Quinn in a tight hug.

"I believe you."

Quinn could feel Rachel's breath tickle her ear. She closed her eyes and buried her face into Rachel's neck. She'd never felt more secure than she did right now. She practically collapsed in Rachel's arms. Once she simmered down Rachel pulled out of the hug. Quinn instantly missed the contact.

"I'm sorry Quinn, but I'm still quite perplexed. What is it you're trying to tell me?"

Quinn was weak and sick with emotion. She wasn't ready for this anymore. She retreated back into her head and searched for an easy way to tell Rachel how she felt but gave up. She already broke down in front of her and wasn't ready to be rejected by her too. She wiped her eyes and shrugged.

"Light Up the World, Rach."

"Quinn?"

"The song. It's from me to you."

With that, Quinn walked out of the room. She didn't know where she was going but she couldn't be alone with Rachel anymore. She said what she needed to and now it was up to Rachel to either ignore or reciprocate her gesture. She made her way to the elevator before breaking down once more. Quinn knew she deserved this kind of hurt. It was karma in the works.

All she wanted was a chance to start over before her best intentions made a bigger mess of things.

Rachel sat in Quinn's room too stunned to move. Her hands were shaking now as she held the paper with the lyrics on it. She had probably read and re-read the song about fifty times or so in the last minute. She couldn't wrap her head around Quinn's confession. At first she'd been surprised but after relaying their entire history in her head it all started to make sense. Rachel couldn't argue that there was always a hint of something greater between them whenever they were in a room together. When things got heated, attraction often escalated. Rachel also could not deny that Quinn was beautiful- the most beautiful girl Rachel had ever laid eyes on…Rachel shook her head. She couldn't believe she was starting to consider Quinn as more than a friend. That was impossible. It's not that she had anything against same sex relationships, she was raised by two fathers. It's something that she's just never considered. Whenever she reviews her life plan, it's always a man she's imagined herself end up with.

Brittany and Santana walked out of the bathroom in just their towels. In their spur of the moment rush to leave the room for Quinn they hadn't grabbed any clothes. They stumbled around the corner giggling to themselves- sexy times in the bath tub always proved twice as fun. They were startled to see Rachel still in the room.

"Where's Q?" Santana cautiously asked.

Rachel shrugged and turned to Santana. Her eyes were red and puffy and it was clear she had been crying for quite some time.

"I don't know," she choked," I should probably leave too."

Before Santana could question Rachel about what happened, she was gone. She looked at the clock, it was nearly 1 a.m. They had to get to bed soon because competition was tomorrow meaning the entire morning would be spent learning songs.

Brittany pouted in disappointment that things didn't go well with Quinn and Rachel. Santana assured her things would be okay and typed out a quick text to Quinn asking if she wanted them to meet her. Quinn responded with a simple "No" and that was that. Santana wasn't going to argue with her. She and Brittany got under the covers of their bed and fell asleep.

Quinn got back to their room closer to 2 a.m. She ended up leaving the hotel entirely and walked to Times Square just a few blocks away.

It was said that Disneyland was the happiest place on Earth. For Quinn, however, the happiest place on earth was Times Square. It was just like the movies. There were people everywhere at all times of the day. The buildings were tall and lit up with the prettiest lights and there were advertisements every which way you looked. Some were for Broadway shows, some were for movies, others were for products but they were all big, bright, and fantastic. Quinn couldn't help but brighten up just being there. She fell in love with the city the second she stepped off the plane. Being in New York felt so right. It wasn't an option for her, though. She'd never set her sights here because she knew it was setting herself up for disappointment. She wasn't meant for greater things like Rachel was. She would end up staying in Lima and become a teacher or something.

That night, she sat in Times Square and digested the atmosphere around her. She wanted to memorize everything about this moment- the way she felt, the people around her, the sounds she heard, the quiet in her heart. Times Square was her happy place and it took out of reality, if only temporarily.

By the time she got back to the hotel, she was exhausted. She crept into her room so she wouldn't wake Santana and Brittany. She smiled to herself when she saw them cuddled together spooning. She looked around the room for the paper with her lyrics on it. She wanted to tear it up and throw it away but it was nowhere to be found. She shrugged and went to bed.

The next morning Quinn awoke to the sound of banging on their door. She poked her head up from under the covers and saw that Brittany and Santana were still tangled together sleeping. She groaned to herself realizing she would have to be the one to get up and answer the door.

She begrudgingly opened her door and found Finn standing there.

"I'm calling a team meeting in 20 minutes. Rachel picked the songs we're singing today and we need to practice. Tonight's the night!"

Quinn sighed and nodded her head before closing the door in his face.

Rachel and Quinn avoided eye contact all morning. Rachel felt Quinn's eyes on her but would always catch her looking away and vice versa. Santana and Brittany, pros at this game, felt the tension in the air right off the bat. Everyone else in the room, however, was oblivious. Quinn's stomach tied in knots when Rachel announced she'd made an executive decision for the group to perform _Light Up The World_ as their closing number. Brittany found Santana's hand and squeezed it. Though she kept herself cool and composed in front of the Glee club, she was screaming in her head. Britt was proud of her and she may have even blushed a little. When no one was paying attention she whispered into Brittany's ear.

"It's all for you, baby."

The rest of the morning required all personal issues to be set aside as solos were assigned and performances were choreographed. To Quinn's disdain, Finn was singing a duet with Rachel to a song he wrote called "Pretending."

The song title alone caused Quinn to snort in disbelief. She couldn't think of a more accurate word to describe the Finchel relationship.

The New Directions were called to the stage.

The lights dimmed and the crowd was silent. The music started and Finn and Rachel commenced their performance. Quinn scoffed at the lyrics to Finn's song but was overcome by Rachel's voice. She was absolutely captivating. She even made a shitty song like this sound out of this world. The song ended and the crowd rose to their feet with a standing ovation. Then time stopped. Finn grabbed Rachel and kissed her in front of the entire nationals audience and judges. Quinn's heart stopped and her stomach dropped to the floor.

Rachel pushed her feelings, or lack thereof, for Finn aside as well as her unexplored feelings for Quinn. She would resolve her confusion later. She was intent on applying all of her energy and worry to the competition at hand. She was determined to win. She chose Quinn's song for two reasons. The first reason was simply because it was a great song that was sure to promise them a win. The second, more important reason, was that Quinn wrote it for _her_. Something about that triggered something inside of Rachel. She ended up taking the lyrics with her when she left Quinn's room because she wanted to keep them for herself. She wasn't sure what she felt exactly but she knew something inside her had awakened.

She humored Finn by agreeing to sing his song with him. A Rachel/Finn duet always went over well in competition anyways. The performance had all gone according to plan, that is, until Finn unceremoniously decided to kiss her on stage. She was in too much shock to realize the implications that weighted them against the judges. Rachel was buzzing from the kiss. It hadn't been spectacular by any means. Come to think of it, the kiss was hardly even romantic but it was easier this way.

Yep, she just might give in to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you everyone for sticking with me so far! I'll try to get quicker with updates. I truly appreciate you guys for reading **

_Anything that made the slightest sense in Quinn's world was shattered with the kiss. What was worse, however, was the apologetic glance that Rachel shot Quinn afterwards. The look basically said, "I realize that you truly care about me and I have no doubt that I would be happier with you but Frankenteen in front of me makes life much easier." Never before would Quinn have guessed Rachel Berry would be one to take the easy way out. Knowing that Rachel had at least some form of feelings for Quinn is what hurt the most. It was as though Rachel personally reached into Quinn's chest, ripped her heart out, and danced all over it with Finn's tongue down her throat. The agony of it all was brief. It washed over her entire body causing a literal ache in her heart before dissipating entirely. The life was sucked out of her and she felt nothing. After her final attempt at love, Quinn Fabray was numb. _

_Back at the hotel Santana went 'Lima Heights' on Rachel and Finn for causing their loss but Quinn sensed Santana's underlying motives of protecting her. She was grateful for Santana's indirect support of her but she also felt a twinge of guilt. Her rekindled friendship with Brittany and Santana would be short-lived. As soon as she set foot in Lima again, she was going to start over completely –new look, new friends, new attitude. The one thing that would remain constant, however, was her love for Rachel. Love isn't something that can be controlled with a simple on/off button. Quinn vowed to do her best to get over her. _

Dropping off the face of the earth was easier than Quinn expected. She didn't bother attending the last Glee practice or the end of the year party that followed it. There was no use, she had no intention of returning to the Glee club her senior year- it would only bring back the hurt. So far Quinn was content with the numbness that surrounded her since Nationals. She welcomed the emptiness inside her and was void of all emotion.

It's the last week of summer vacation and she hasn't had any contact with anyone from Glee. Her phone's been disconnected since school got out as a punishment by her mother for her delinquent attitude and getting caught smoking on more than one occasion. Quinn sees that as a blessing rather than a deterrent.

Her mother compares her new behavior to that of a zombie. Quinn doesn't mind. In fact, it pleases her that her actions are generating a response from her absentee mother. Judy, usually too drunk to notice if her daughter is even home, has taken on the role of a "concerned parent." It's too late for that, though. Quinn refuses to see her as a parent figure after everything that happened in her life so she consistently shrugs off Judy's warnings and punishments. What does she have left to lose?

Quinn seizes the opportunity to slip out the front door when her mother is in the kitchen making her first screwdriver of the day. (It's Orange juice and vodka so it's totally appropriate for breakfast. Vitamin C is important, you know). Asking her mother for permission to go out would result in rejection and a reminder that she is grounded so it's easier to just sneak out like this. Quinn heads for Sheila's house to spend the afternoon listening to 90s grunge music and maybe even get high. The majority of her summer days were spent this way with her new group of friends- The Skanks.

The Skanks initially invited her into their group when they came across her in Hot Topic browsing hair dyes. Quinn had asked Sheila for her input on what color would suit her best – lime green or hot pink. Sheila called the girls over and it was decided that, while lime green was edgy, hot pink would better suit her. They all clicked and Quinn was soon integrated in their circle. Though she hardly held anything in common with them, they were new friends that she hoped could replace the old ones. The Skanks didn't fill the vacant hole in her heart but they didn't cause further damage either. They kept her numb.

The first day of school quickly approaches and Quinn braces herself for the start of her senior year. She glides through McKinley's bustling hallways with her dark oversized sunglasses, her fading unkempt hot pink hair, her new nose ring, and her grungy unwashed clothes from the thrifty mart. Everyone stares at her in shock that the once head cheerleader, most sought after girl at school, has transformed into some sort of hipster delinquent. She smirks at her peer's reactions but doesn't crack a real smile. Come to think of it, she can't remember the last time she's genuinely smiled. She goes through her schedule on autopilot and snaps back to reality in time for lunch under the bleachers with The Skanks. By lunch, she means her afternoon cigarette and maybe some gum. She couldn't be more surprised when she saw Rachel Berry strutting her way to the bleachers.

_Rachel was ultimately taken aback by Finn's kiss but, for the sake of dramatics, went along with it. She didn't feel a spark or see fireworks even though she had just shared an intimate moment with the crowd before her. Finn gazed down at her and curved the side of his lips into a smug smile. Evidently he thought more of the kiss than she did. Before she could further process what had just happened, their closing number started and she was back in performing mode. She couldn't, however, help herself from sending a look of apology towards Quinn. Part of her felt as though she had cheated on the blonde by succumbing to Finn's embrace. The other half of her told her to let it go and be grateful for Finn's attention. She cringed at that resolution but common sense told her it was the safer route. Quinn had been horrible to her before, how was she to trust that she wouldn't hurt her again? _

_After the performance, everything went downhill. Quinn avoided her at all costs and Santana had to be restrained from pouncing on her while she spewed curses at her in Spanish. The club was a mess and by that point no one would talk to her aside from Finn. Fate had laid a hand, she supposed. Once she returned to Lima she couldn't help but notice the awkward emptiness that filled the choir room in Qinn's absence. She immediately missed the blonde but assumed she had taken an early vacation or something. Rachel's dads sent her back to New York for the summer to attend performing arts workshops and camps so she hardly saw Finn at all before school started again. _

Rachel couldn't have been more excited to start her senior year of high school and more importantly, the return of Glee club! Finn met her at her locker at the start of the day and together they walked to the choir room. They ended up being the first people there but were soon followed by Brittany and Santana (pinkies entwined) who sat behind them.

"So Rach, how was your summer? Did you miss me as much as I missed you?" Finn asked with a goofy grin.

Santana snorted from behind them.

Rachel ignored her reaction.

"It was simply marvelous! Prior to this summer I had considered my vast knowledge of theater and performing to be unrivaled but I came across a few others quite like myself and really learned a lot. I have no doubt that New York is where I belong." Rachel was beaming now.

Finn, eyes already glazed over, responded with a simple "Cool."

He honestly had no idea what his girlfriend was talking about. He often tended to zone out whenever she talked- something that didn't go unnoticed by everyone else.

He loosely draped his arm around Rachel's shoulders as the rest of the club filed into the choir room. Mr. Shue's smile faltered when he noticed three empty chairs. Before he could inquire about the absences, Puck and Mercedes explained Sam and Lauren's departures from the club. No one, however, could answer where Quinn was. She had dropped contact with everyone over the summer- even Brittany and Santana.

"We haven't seen her since school got out," Santana feigned annoyance.

"Yeah, we tried to convince her to rejoin the Cheerios and go to cheer camp with us but she refused," Brittany added.

Rachel could feel their eyes on her back. She turned around to face Santana and was met with a deadly glare. Rachel felt a wave of guilt sweep through her. She didn't want to think this was her fault but knew that she was most likely the driving force in pushing Quinn away. At least, this was the conclusion she came to after analyzing Santana's extra cold demeanor towards her. Finn was oblivious to her frustration. Rachel turned around again to face the front of the room and tried to focus on their morning practice. Try as she might, she couldn't shake the awkward feeling of Santana's relentless gaze throughout the rest of the session.

When the bell rang, Rachel hurried out of the choir room only to be followed by Brittany and Santana. Before she could get away from them, she felt a hand grip her arm and pull her into the nearest bathroom.

"Excuse me! What do you think you're doing? I have a class to get to."

Rachel was nervous. It was clear that Santana wasn't happy with her and she was well aware that the cheerleader in front of her had a short fuse and wasn't afraid of a fight. She backed into a corner and silently prayed for her life. She wasn't sure to what Santana knew about her and Quinn but she obviously knew enough to be upset with her.

"We needs to have a talk, Treasure Trail," the brunette snarled, "How are things with Finnocence?"

Rachel was taken aback by the question. Santana was getting closer to her and the confrontation was making her uncomfortable.

"He's fine…we're fine. I love him." Rachel refused to make eye-contact.

Brittany remained silent throughout the exchange- she liked to avoid confrontation at all costs. She was a lover, not a fighter. Santana understood and would always do the talking. Brittany was always there to level her out and keep her calm. They were like yin and yang and complemented each other beautifully.

Santana rolled her eyes and impatiently put her hands on her hips.

"Yeah? Who are you trying to convince- me or yourself? 'Cause I sure as hell don't believe you."

Rachel bit her lip and looked away. Santana smirked, well aware that her assumption was correct. She kept her arms crossed and didn't move from Rachel. She wasn't going to back down until she got what she wanted.

"Why are you doing this?" Rachel whispered, barely audible.

This time, Brittany was the one to speak.

"We're here to help you get the girl."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest but Santana cut in.

"Save it, Berry. You like Quinn and she likes you. Let's get Frankenteen out of the equation and you two can live happily ever after," she said dryly.

Brittany beamed at Santana's slightly sarcastic remark and skipped over to her and wrapped her arms around her waist and rested her head on the shorter girl's shoulder.

"I love your romantic side," she cooed in Santana's ear.

Santana blushed and leaned into Brittany to kiss her cheek. "Whatever."

Rachel was more confused than ever and cocked an eyebrow.

"Why are you so willing to help me?"

"Quinn's still our best friend. We miss her and just want her to be happy," Brittany gushed behind Santana.

Santana's face softened and she dropped her hostility.

"Look," she hesitated, unsure of the kindness that was about to erupt from her, "we can be here for you too. We're more alike than you think." She gestured to Brittany who was still hugging her close.

Rachel's eyes widened at Santana's confession that she and Brittany's relationship was more than just platonic. She let her guard down in the wake of Santana's own vulnerability.

"I don't know what to say. I appreciate you reaching out to me. I just don't know where to go from here. I have so many unresolved feelings and it's just so overwhelming."

"Start simple, tell her to come back to Glee then go from there," Santana suggested.

Brittany nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we tried talking to her this morning before cheer practice and she wouldn't listen to us. She'll listen to you though."

"You think so?"

"Absolutely!" Brittany was back to planning double dates in her head for them to go on.

Rachel looked at her watch and realized they were over fifteen minutes late to their second period class. Panic mode set in. Rachel Berry was never tardy and to start her senior year late to her first real class gave her anxiety. Santana sensed the diva's sudden discomfort and stepped aside so Rachel could leave.

"Good luck, Berry." Though Santana turned friendly towards Rachel, she wasn't ready to give in to a first name basis with her just yet. Baby steps.

"You aren't coming..?" Rachel stood idly in the doorway waiting for the two cheerleaders.

Brittany and Santana looked at each other and giggled.

"No thanks, I wants to get my mack on instead."

The lunch bell sounded throughout the halls of McKinley and Rachel nervously made her way out to the football field. Santana and Brittany suggested she start her search for Quinn under the bleachers. Their prediction proved to be correct.


End file.
